On a Quiet Monday Morning....

As I sit here on a quiet Monday morning, I realize that God it truly trying to teach me patience. I believe that I am finally listening......

When I was younger, I had to be in control of everything... I planned everything out to the most minute detail. It stressed me out and needless to say, it stressed others out around me.

But then my world as I new it came crashing down around me. My husband, at the time, wanted out.

I. thought. I. would. die. I didn't want it to happen. It wasn't in my plan.

But it did.

And life went on. Very slowly and painfully at first. I learned many lessons in the past 8 years... many about myself. Lots of soul searching, therapy, and truly looking deep within myself.

Hard stuff.

I did some crazy stuff, made some foolish mistakes, and cried lots of tears.

But now, after almost 8 years, I have learned so much about myself- and about life.

I am NOT in control. God is. And this is good.

I am more patient, more content, and much less of a control freak.

And I like it.

Not to say that I still don't have my moments.... as we all do.... but I am good with it.

And for some reason, these thoughts flood my mind on this Monday morning.... as I sit here and contemplate my 15 year old car (which is now making scary, intermittent noises)...... my youngest child, my beautiful daughter, entering high school...... my son, who is going to be a junior and is considering joining the army so he can legally blow things up...... and my parents moving up to their home on the island, who are now going to be able to focus on themselves, and who will no longer be my safety net.... I realize it is all good. It is the way it is supposed to be.... per God's plan, not mine.

And I love it. I love where I am right now. I am grateful for the people in my life. I am thankful for all the lessons I have learned. And I am learning patience....

That is all. (for now) :)