Wondering.........

I sometimes wonder why I think I know better than God.

When every sign is pointing me in a different direction, when things don't come easy, when there is no peace in my heart, when my spirit is stifled..... I still think I know better.

You would think that I would have learned by now how difficult things become and how heavy I feel when I am not listening to God's voice- when I think that I know what I need and I close Him out.

Just stop already.

And I did.

I stopped.

I stopped the madness, the roller coaster, the unhappiness in my heart and the disagreeing with what God has in store for me.

And you know what?

I feel light.

I feel free.

I feel really, really GOOD.

I feel God's love. I feel His acceptance of me just the way I am. I am filled with His grace.

I don't have the stress, tension, and strife. I am happy again on so many different levels.

Funny thing is, I don't even miss it. I don't miss any of it. I don't miss it because it was not what God had in store for me.

I was miserable. In fact, I did not realize how miserable I actually was until the catalyst was gone. But now it is gone and I am good with that. Really good with that.

Why don't I trust God more often, especially when things get rough? He knows what is best for me. He closes one door and opens others. I am tired of swimming up stream. I am giving Him the wheel and letting him take over.

I am open to the new opportunities he is giving me.

I like that.